Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2006.06.20  13.14 Letting Go<3 I came here to let you know The letting go Has taken place I have held the winter's son Become one Set my pace Isn't that what we wanted all along Freedom like a stone Maybe we were wrong But I can say goodbye Now that the passion's died Still it comes so slow The letting go Piece by piece I take apart This complicated heart And I hope to find Something I can prove is real I can feel is truth I can say is mine That's all I even wanted to be The closer I got The further I could see But when lovers change And the night feels strange We choose our road The letting go I came here to let you know The letting go Has taken place

	2006.06.20  13.11 summa-vacay so its summer now. im offically out of highschool for life. its wierd. it doesnt really seem like it. so, besides that what else is new? im working at wetseal now. its okay, i mean its fun. but they dont honor my avaiability at all! theres a guy in the picture. its wierd, its been a year since mark. and things are going good. i never thought i would be here, but i am. so its all good. im going to england this summer. yay. so i think thats all. <33

	2006.06.01  21.28 he'll never adore ME

	2006.05.23  15.12 so i dont know. im graduating in excatly 14 days including weekends i turn 18 in 24 days. i go to england in like two months i want to go to ccbc murrieta then transfer to ccbc york dream school right there i dont know though things are iffy. dad and step mom are kaput [for good] moms scared im gunna leave her and shes getting all protective and what not i dont know how im gunna learn to drive mom doesnt want to teach me and i have to pay for it myself. i have so many things to pay for i know it sounds like im complaining but im just freaking out. i have so many things I have to pay for. im just so worried/stressed/confused. i dont know i guess this is growing up. <3

	2006.05.20  17.48 my mom is so stupid. this is so gay. gawd. she needs to get over herself ahhhhhhhhhhhhh kill me now please?

	2006.03.17  21.25 Please Stay Is it true what they say? that love fades away, to leave us quiet and motionless blaming everything on each other and no matter how close we get or how long we hold each other we will feel like the loneliest people in the world and the only thing weve come to know is this hate and we cant see a thing because our eyes are full of tears we will never cry and we cant speak becuase are lips are full of words we will never say and as the sun comes up he grabs his jacket and his bag and leaves with out saying goodbye because you heard everything you needed to hear last night except one thing i didnt say I love you, please stay.

	2005.11.13  01.18 life things are going pretty good lately ive been writing alot more and apparently its good or so ive been told. ive been so tired lately. prolly cuz ive been staying up late chatting then actually doing my hw lol my moms getting mad that ive been staying up so late. but oh well you cant please everyone mark emailed me yesterday just wanted to see how i was then apologized then saying he still cares for me (even though he has a gf) whatever, lame. its almost thanksgiving...trippy next thing you know it will be the end of senior year whoa. well thats all for now <33

	2005.11.05  15.50 okay so previous entry scratch that im good lol i was just way stressed. but s'all good :)

	2005.11.05  11.22 im so fucking tired. not just tired as in sleep but tired of everything. im tired of school and boys and the constant drama at ochsa. im tired of everything.

	2005.11.03  23.48 so yeah life is good im happy. for the most part! i guess there are a few things i would change but everyone has somehthing like that. oh well. <3333

	2005.10.30  21.37 knotts was scary dads was fun i chatted alot that was awesome <3

	2005.10.16  14.08 </3

	2005.10.05  22.13 things are good. end of story. ps i didnt get back with mark.

	2005.09.25  20.46 holy shit. just when i think that summer romances are done and gone for good here it comes up again shaking my world....what am i to do? im not giving him a second chance, thats for damn sure. but he wants to be friends. he wants to talk. he said he realized what he lost and that i was the best thing in his life and he loved being with me. why is he doing this. i dont get it. after all this time...now? i want to scream at the top of my lungs. i cant let him get to me. he wants to hang out. and i care about him duh. and i cant let myself get attached again, i cant put myself through this. im shaking as i write this. why now. whyyyyy.... Mood: confused

	2005.09.23  21.20 i havent been this scared in a long time and im so unprepared so heres your valentine bouquet of clumys words a simple melody this worlds an ugly place but youre so beautiful to me...

	2005.09.18  21.05 what do men and parking spots have in common? the good ones are hard to find, and the rest are disabled. hahahaha!

	2005.09.13  19.59 i hate being told the truth especially if its something i dont want to hear. =/

	2005.09.11  12.43 9-11.... we will never forget... :'( cute boys are awesome.

	2005.08.30  21.32 im thinking, or i have been thinking...and its time i took control of somethings. ive decided that im not happy with myself. so im going to start making some changes and try to help me feel better about the person i am. so im gunna start that tomorrow...wish me luck i am also going to email my dad. and tell him what i feel. about everything. how everything that he has done has affected me. and how its not fair. im scared. im gunna ask him to start weekly dinners for just the two of us. i want to have a father in my life. and not just someone who comes to christmas. again wish me luck... haha i love drew. he is so awesome, i am in love with that boy. too bad he lives in texas lol. its a good thing that myspace is haha... hiletsallbescene: id be honored to sit on your lap un4gtableromance: id be honoroed to have you sit on my lap hiletsallbescne: <3! hiletsallbescene: if you were here id share a pepsi with you un4gtalberomance: aw you make me smile! un4gtableromance: <3 hiletsallbescene: xELEVEN <33!

	2005.08.21  14.54 my new car! yay!!!!!

	2005.08.16  13.08 ive got soul but im not a soilder classes! blk. 1 late start blk. 2 chemistry with mccormick rm 505 (ew i dont like mccormick) blk. 3 non fiction lit with todd rm 8 blk. 4 econ with dion rm 20 blk. 5 phiolsphy and critical thinking with kadri rm 601 blk. 6 spanish IV with briggerman rm 507 thats my school schedule....sounds good?

	2005.08.10  18.40 shhh! ill keep you my dirty little secret dont tell anyone or youll be just another regret i hope that you can keep it.

	2005.08.06  12.36 i love you cause i have to so yeah...lol...recently...i did something i normally thought i wouldnt. and now my beliefs on that topic are changing. and i dont know if its good. i dont know. i thought that i wouldnt be proud of doing it, but im not hating myself for it either. im a teenager. and thats what teenagers do right? gr. no one knows what this is about except meredith so lol ignore it if your not her.

	2005.07.26  18.12 i totally just lost all respect that i had for my dad.

	2005.07.22  21.41 lets seeeee....today lacy came home...and we caught up. shes been gone a month and missed alot. lol. then we went to see charlie and the chocolate factory...its way good. not too much else has been goin on...but its good...ive been reading and cleaning and such so yeah thats my week haha <333